The idea of One True Love is romantic. In order to grasp the true meaning of such adjective, let's look at some definitions.
1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of romance.
2. Given to thoughts or feelings of romance.
3. Displaying, expressive of, or conducive to love: a romantic atmosphere.
4. Imaginative but impractical; visionary: romantic notions.
5. Not based on fact; imaginary or fictitious: His memoirs were criticized as a romantic view of the past
Does anything jump out at you? Well, I bet some of you are shaking your heads at 4 and 5, but if you carefully consider these definitions, you'll realize they're far more apt than the first three.
World History, particularly the Great Civilizations, have led me to conclude that the "normal" structure of modern life starts with husband and wife, for otherwise, imagine the free for all chaos, the orgy, if you will, that would have taken place. And yet, that is exactly what is happening though most of us choose to ignore it.
Why is divorce such a prevalent occurrence in modern times? Because it's nearly impossible to give your all to our One True Love, plain and simple.
If you're like me, you ride high on the chase phase of a relationship. There's nothing to compare to that first time kissing, that first lingering glance, the first wave of butterfly-inducing caresses that lead to that first time making love... It's a rush!
Mentally, there's the game of wits where you get to have your very own audience of one, and he or she will hang on your every bloody word because getting to know someone is like a drug, particularly when they prove exciting and stimulating.
The old adage of the High School Sweethearts may have worked back in the 1950s, but in modern times, it fails, and fails miserably. Don't believe me, check the hard data.
We live in times where we are fully aware of having only one chance living. We've questioned enough to come to some sort of acceptance that Heaven and Hell may be as fictitious as most religious dogma truly is, so our moral compass spins wildly as a new directive has come to dominate our conscious. You only live once, make the bloody best of it.
Marriage is a great institution. It centers two people who commit to one another, and together they go on to build a life. For some it works great. For others it's an epic fail. But if we are true to ourselves, we know that despite the promises made at the altar, there will be another person who makes our heart race with no more than a smile. There will be a situation in which a moment can be stolen.
Would it be wrong? You bet your arse!
Would it feel good? Absolutely!
It may turn into a delicious little secret that goes on to spice up your life, boost your ego, and give you those sensations of those firsts moments.
Yes, adultery, cheating, coveting, and lusting are major sins and blah, bloody blah, but give me one, just ONE man or woman, who upon entering an affair, did not suddenly feel much more alive than at any point in their "legal" relationship.
Hearts get broken, that's inevitable, and no affair is a fairy tale. The price is often steep, but moralities aside, we can't help becoming attracted or connecting with someone other than our significant other and if you think you've got the perfectly loyal man or woman, I wish you luck.
This is not to say One True Love doesn't exist. I pray to find that in my own life, and I hope you find it as well, if you don't already have it. However, once the luster has worn and you find little excitement in the same kiss, the same routine, the same day in and day out walk through your life, and someone else elicits those dormant sensations and brings you back to the vivacious soul we all are, you will undoubtedly fall for that person to some degree. It's unavoidable. You will think of them, you will sneak messages, and may even find the determination to go through with a meeting. You may find yourself in their bed, and although you may become a bundle of guilt, the grin the memory of that new touch brings, will have you riding high. It's natural. What's sexier than someone wanting you, lusting after you, thinking of you, loving you when they know they're not supposed to. When do you feel more alive than when you long for another's touch or for their voice to caress your ears?
There are billions of people on this planet, and we connect with a few in different ways. One True Love may be the most selfish concept in life or it may be the only solid ground we'll ever walk, and the traditionals and conservatives may feel free to excoriate me, though they often prove to be the biggest players. Christians? I highly suggest they take on some real education before opening their gobs, but I fully expect those views to turn their defenders into incoherent piles of embarrassment.
In conclusion, one thing is certain, One True Love is just a romantic notion. Nothing more.
K
